A Paragon of Virtue

The quest for meaning has vexed philosophers for centuries. Some fortunate people are able to find meaning in the work they do. Others find it in their religion, watching Oprah, reading inspirational books, in their studies, raising children, helping the poor, giving money to Oxfam or in educating the illiterate. If you live near Sandton you’re most likely to find love and meaning in your Amex platinum card, at the shopping mall or at the gym. Your identity and sense of well-being is intimately connected to your Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses, Prada handbag, Piaget watch, your knee high Roberto Cornutto boots and your black Audi cabriolet. In a fit of pique you say to your best friend Candace: “I mean the cheek of the man! Who does Tito Mboweni think he is? Let him eat chicken wings if he wants to. I don’t do skin! I’ll eat grilled fillet as often as I want to. Besides, my personal trainer Marcus insists! He says I need the protein!”

Life is good. The cosmic ordering service says that we must not dwell on all the negatives. Why should you worry about global equity markets and the unfathomable ways of the world? You are oblivious to the fact that the new corporate sport is pension fund stripping but you firmly believe in reciprocity and random acts of kindness. You only buy whole-wheat bread for your domestic servant even though it costs more. You help your daughter Tiffany cut pictures out of the TV guide for her George Clooney scrapbook and the family owns a pleasant little villa on the shores of Lago di Como bought with the proceeds of what Alexander, your investment advisor husband, once referred to as “bulking”. And silly you thought “bulking” is what happens to your bum when you eat too many carbs!

Technically the practice of making secret profits and not telling clients is “not lawful.” It’s actuarial science. However that’s all in the past now that a well-known financial services group has rediscovered its moral compass and initiated its own in-house moral regeneration campaign.
So how does this work in practice? First you launch an exhaustive and costly internal process of identifying values that will help employees avoid certain questionable behaviours.

Then you hire very expensive image and communications consultants. They help you go through a process of guided discovery. They show you and your team how to ask powerful open ended questions. You start off with your main goal. You say the following: “We were caught with our hands in the cookie jar. We want to improve our image and reputation for honest dealing in the investment and business community. How do we do it?” Well for starters, we create a comics strip. Now if I’m not mistaken, the primary aim of a comics strip is to make us laugh. The company’s new comics series features four indefatigable characters aptly named the “Paragons” presumably of goodness and virtue. The Paragons are our new moral and ethical superheroes. They are dressed in colourful tight-fitting Batman style suits and have been appointed to clean up, to wage war on unethical behaviour and to represent the company’s core values.

So its business as usual and all is forgiven after paying a hefty fine and giving back nearly R400 million to clients. The timely launch of this innovative comics series, has unquestionably reassured the members of the countries 950 pension funds that the company really cares about their savings. It reminds me of the deceased African dictator, Mobutu Sese Seko of Zaire who cared so much for his country, he decided to own it. Anything can be hijacked. Even countries.

Also let’s not forget that the virtues are back and featuring at a corporate HQ near you. Love, truth, transparency, fairness, integrity, reliability and honesty are all back again after taking a sabbatical but are now supported by action figures and colour pictures for added visual impact and memory retention. Other strong measures implemented by the company include recycling office waste, carefully scrutinising CV’s for spelling errors and never hiring a Greek pension expert again.

“Thoughts, words and deeds” are now constantly monitored and aligned. What does this mean? It means that additional extraordinary steps have been taken to ensure compliance. Thought police, polygraph operators, word recognition experts, vetting specialists and top behaviour analysts, all trained at a secret facility in China and recently made redundant after the Beijing Olympics have been retained by the company at enormous cost.

Call me a cynic but I find the religious fervour and new found morality of the recently converted somewhat troubling. None other than Comrade Jacob ran our own highly successful moral regeneration campaign. Problem is he ran it into a mine shaft, never to emerge again. We take a small historical detour. Hitler was kind to children, fond of animals and abhorred hunting. In 1934 even Nazi Germany embarked on a moral regeneration crusade. A morals police or Sittenpolizei was created to control prostitutes and to enforce good morals and behaviour. To promote better health the country implemented the world’s most comprehensive anti-smoking campaign. Smoking in public places was heavily restricted and pregnant women were banned from smoking. The BBC a year earlier was so reassured by Herr Hitler’s good intentions and not wishing to offend him, banned Winston Churchill from participating in a series of political broadcasts.

On a final note the word “consistency” has also made a welcome return to the corporate landscape. Ethically speaking all is well again in the world of pension fund administration, financial management and risk advisory services. Should we be comforted or alarmed? You decide. Just remember what Oscar Wilde said: “Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”



Costas Ayiotis
Meditations, Observations & Reflections from the Republic of Hout Bay
8 September 2008